Meg: Trust me, I know more about getting bullied than anyone.
Peter: You do? How?

The only way to settle a family dispute is in the cage.

Peter

And once again a Heavy Flow has ruined another lady's evening.

Wrestling Announcer

I love putting my hands down my pants when I'm on drugs.

Cleveland

The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.

Lois

There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.

Peter

Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.

Peter

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Joe

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

Joe

See, we're all terrible people inside.

Lois

You don't have to win to have fun.

Joe

Family Guy Quotes

Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire