Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 6 Episode 9: "Back to the Woods" Quotes
You're in a lot of trouble, Griffin, you mother f***er!
James Woods
Peter: That kung pao chicken smells good. You smell that?
Brian: Right now, all I can smell is your ass.
Lois: Peter, someone's been using your credit card!
Peter: Lois, I hear what you're saying, but like my credit card, I have a very low rate of interest.
Brian: Listen, I need your help, go run into and give me a pair of scissors.
Stewie: No!
Brian: Why not?
Stewie: Because, you made me watch those two girls and a cup.
(Flashbacks to the incident)
Stewie: Okay, wait. What is this now?
Brian: Just watch.
Stewie: Why are we taping my reactions. (about the camera)
Brian: Just watch.
(Turns to the computer)
Stewie: Okay, they're lesbians clearly.
(Stewie reacts to the video, disgusted, as Brian starts to laugh)
You're probably wonderin' why he's in Hell. Johnny liked little boys.
Verne
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, important traffic news that can't help you because you're some place where a TV is.
Tom Tucker
Hey Brian, what are you doing tied up to Meg's pole?
</i> Peter
Chris: Mr. Woods. How do I get a girl to like me?
James Woods: Oh Chris, I'm your father, call me "dad".
Chris: Um, okay, dad. How do I get a girl to like me?
James Woods: Well, there's a number of ways Chris. Uh, for example, Kate Moss and I had the same coke supplier, and he threw a punch social one day, and we both happened to be there, and the next thing you know, we're both in the back room, slam bang. I went bareback, babe.
Chris: Wow, she sounds like a class act.
James Woods: No, not at all Chris. No, not at all.
James Woods: Well, well. A trespasser on my property. That's the worst thing that's happened to me since...
Peter: (gasps) You wouldn't!
James Woods: It's up to you Peter. Either you leave now, or I set up one of your random flashbacks.
Stewie: Brian, guess what? I gave James Woods your novel to read, and you're not gonna believe this!
Brian: Really? Did he like it?
Stewie: He wants to option it and make a movie!
Brian: Really!?
Stewie: No, he didn't really respond to it.
Brian: Ohh.
James Woods: Hey, not so fast pal. Those are my clothes.
Peter: Oh come on.
Joe: You heard him fella, take 'em off. Right down to the poop sack. What? You don't all wear a poop sack? Damnit Bonnie! You lied to me about the poop sack!
Peter: What the hell? Where's my wallet? Ah crap, I must have dropped it at the Barry Manilow concert.
Stewie: Dropped it at the what and where was I?
