Are you a TV Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized television news for free!
Brian: You are really pretty
Girl at Bar: Thanks
Brian: You know, uh, I wrote a book
Girl at Bar: What's that?
Brian: It's like a long magazine
Girl at Bar: Huh?
Brian: It's like the Internet made out of a tree
Girl at Bar: Oh, weird. You want to have sex in the bathroom?
Brian: Oh gosh, what a treat, yes I would like that
- Permalink: You are really pretty Thanks You know, uh, I wrote a book ...
Lois: My God I can't even react big enough. Here's Mrs. Garret
Mrs. Garret: Whaaat!?
Brian: If my happiness means so little to you that you have Charlotte Rae just standing by to crack a joke then you disappoint me
- Permalink: My God I can't even react big enough. Here's Mrs. Garret Wha...
Brian [about Rita]: Well you met her, what did you think?
Lois: What do I think? She's a 100! Peter, did you see her?
Peter: I'm looking at her now. I can see her from the window up here. Did anyone make a Jessica Tandy joke yet?
Peter: Awesome! I'll be right down
Chris [to Brian]: Who are you dating, Jessica Tandy?
Peter: Sonuvabitch! Damnit Chris, I called that from upstairs
- Permalink: Well you met her, what did you think? What do I think? She's ...
Peter: Hey aren't you that chick from the bathroom door?
Brian: Come on Peter, she doesn't want to talk about work
Peter: What's it like in there?
Bathroom Woman Logo: I assume it's how it's like in the men's room
Peter: Oh there's a long trough with a big poo in it?
- Permalink: Hey aren't you that chick from the bathroom door? Come on Pete...
Rita: Is that your condom?
Brian: No, I mean I wasn't gonna use that on your daughter. I would not use a condom on your daughter. I mean I would if i was having sex with her, which I obviously would not do. I'm safe and all. I get AIDS test every three months. It's not because I have a lot of sex. I eat a lot of poo off the streets
- Permalink: Is that your condom? No, I mean I wasn't gonna use that on you...
Peter: Oh my god, Road House. I want to buy this
Clerk: Great and as a bonus I'll throw in What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams.
Peter: No thank you.
Clerk: No charge.
Peter: I do not want it.
Clerk: But it's free, sir.
Peter: If that DVD even touches Road House, I will kill you.
- Permalink: Oh my god, <i>Road House</i>. I want to buy this Great and as...