Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Episode 15: "Dammit Janet" Quotes
Lois: Peter, do you even know which one of our children I'm talking about?
Peter: Gordon?
A job? Lois, the seventies are over, forget it
Peter
Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww....
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady
It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't trust whitie
Lois
Peter: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait a second! You're telling me, I flew all the way to Kentucky, to get some of your fried chicken, and--and the Colonel isn't even working today??
KFC Employee: He ain't here -- He dead.
Peter: What??
KFC Employee: I say he dead.
Peter: Is Mr. Sanders in?
KFC Employee: What wrong wit you? I say you he dead!
Peter: . . . . THE COL-ONEL!
I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty seven times. Have you seen the lips on that women?! It's like a baboon's ass on her face!
Lois
I don't suppose you have any valium on you? Of course not, you're leading the straight life now
Stewie [to his stuffed animal]
Brian: Well, well, looks like you're in love.
Stewie: Ha! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first "ha!"
Brian: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Stewie: Aha! Her eyes are green!
Brian: Aha! Thanks for proving my point.
Stewie: Damn!