Family Guy

Family Guy "Family Guy Viewer Mail #1" Quotes

Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.
Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting.
Meg: I want a new hat
Chris: I want a new hat
Stewie: I want them to have new hats!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Hey, is the Count a Vampire?
Brian: What's that?
Peter: Well he's got these big fangs. Have they ever shown him doin' somebody in and then feedin' on em?
Brian: You're, you're asking me if they've ever done a Seseme Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance
Peter: Yeah
Brian: No, they've never done that
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Little Diane: Tom, you're so far in the closet, you're finding Christmas presents
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Peter: Why don't you two make like Siamese twins and split... and then one of you die.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Well, we promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Little Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.
Little Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make that devils
 • Rating: Unrated

Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma.
Adam West: Oh My.
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Adam West: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well that's just silly.
Adam West: Silly, yes...idiotic...yes
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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