Family Guy

Family Guy "Hell Comes to Quahog" Quotes (Page 2)

Joe: Oh wow. Wow, if I were a woman, I would press my bare boobs up against glass in public, just for the SEXUAL THRILL! THE SEXUAL THRILL!!!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

(Pepperidge farms commercial)
Guy in Commercial: Remember those sweet, warm New England summers? Remember sipping lemonade underneath a shady tree? Remember when you hit that pedestrian with your car at the crosswalk and then just drove away? Pepperidge Farm remembers, but Pepperidge Farm ain't just gonna keep it to Pepperidge Farm's self free of charge. Maybe you go out and buy yourself some of these distinctive Milano cookies, maybe this whole thing disappears.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: So how was work today, Meg?
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Lois: Peter, you lost your job because of the superstore. You shouldn't blame Meg.
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Lois: And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says 'Meg.'
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Brian: So how was your day exploiting the town's resources, Meg?
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: (laughs) Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberries)
Chris: (whispers) Meg!
Peter: (blows silent raspberry)
Meg: I'm not gonna sit here and take this! I'm the only one in this family that has a job!
Peter: (whispers something in Brian's ear)
Brian: (chuckles) Yeah, like she'd get paid for that.
Meg: (to Brian) What did he just say to you?!
Brian: Nothing. It's like-- There was-- Forget it. It's nothing, Meg.
Peter: (blows raspberry)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Meg, people have always found ways to get around without a car.
Look at Iceman.
Iceman's wife: Honey, where'd you go when you went out last night?
Iceman: Uh, just over to Tom's house. Played some poker,
had some brewskies, you know.
Iceman's wife: Really? Then would you mind explaining that?
(The camera turns to a trail of ice leading to a gay club)
Iceman: At least they know how to touch a man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire:(Quagmire is standing behind a woman that has a nice back) Hey, baby, how'd you like to share a pair of skates?
(Woman turns around and we see a woman who is overweight from the front)
Woman: Sure!
Quagmire: Never mind. Boy, you look a lot better from the back.
Woman: You jerk!
(Woman turns around giving Quagmire her back)
Quagmire: Oh, hey, baby, you want to go somewhere? No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, Quagmire, remember what's on the other side.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Okay Lois, you can open your eyes now!
Lois: (sees the tank) Boccie balls!
 • Rating: Unrated

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