Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Episode 2: "Holy Crap" Quotes
Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?
Peter
Nooooooo! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Damn long ears, trying to steal Easter from Jesus
Peter
Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour
Oh dear me, yes yes, this is how I wanted to enter the new millennium...locked in the basement with imbeciles dressed like a gay Neil Armstrong
Stewie
Peter: Let's go.
Lois: Go where? If there's no food in Quahog, what make you think there's going to be food anywhere else?
Peter: Lois, everyone knows that there are two things that can survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Twinkies, and there's a Twinkie factory in Natick.
Lois: Twinkies?
Peter: Yeah. I saw a story about them on A&E
Meg: There's no factory?
Stewie: Ha! Very good, fat man! We follow the Pied Piper of Hamsteak to the Gates of Oblivion, and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over!
My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years
Peter
Peter: We all love the bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible.
Peter: Umm... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital
Lois: He just got up and left? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever comes back... I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead
Francis: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the un-baptized babies.
Peter: There you go, Lois, you love kids
Hello Boston, are you ready to humblllleeee yourself before God? .... What, have you all taken a vow of silence? Come on!
The Pope's Emcee
Why does the man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me!
Stewie [watching baseball]