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Peter: Guys, am I the only one who thinks its weird talking about Bonnie cheating on Joe in front of their baby?
Suzie: (Thinking in Patrick Stewart's voice) I think we can all benefit from a little strange every now and then. I know I will.

Kevin: Mom, it's my birthday, and you invited your friends!
Bonnie: All yours are dead!

He used his stinky French wiener to defile her.


Secrets are what keep a marriage fresh.


Well, now I've seen Woodrow Wilson naked.


Joe: It feels good to know that thanks to me and my colleagues, a lot fewer people will be injecting cocaine into their penises tonight.
Peter: Is that a thing?
Quagmire: It's a great thing.

That's right, Joyce, apparently there were over 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog. And yet my guy can't get dick.

Tom Tucker
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