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Family-guy

You know what's messed up? This is all for charity. All the proceeds are going to Oxfam.

Stewie

Brian: What do you want to do for 20 minutes?
Stewie: I don't know about you, but I'm gonna work out. That's how you stay in shape. Just fit it in when you have free time Wherever you are, wherever you can...there's semen on this floor.

Oh no, he's one of those parkour free-running guys, we'll never catch him!

Stewie

Brian: You're the only one who's got the knowhow and the technology to help us track her down.
Stewie: Interesting. Last week, all my gadgets were, hooey I think was the word.
Brian: I didn't say...
Stewie: I SAID HOOEY!

I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want. But what I do have is a particular lack of skills. I will never be able to find you.

Peter

Alright Meg, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Panic. Pay no attention to detail. Let your mind race. Take short, rapid breaths. Then hide under the bed, but leave two of your feet sticking out.

Peter

Ruth: Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music?
Meg: I'll be right back! I've been holding in a dump since America.

Please do not be suspicious that I am at the airport with no baggage whatsoever.

French Kidnapper
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