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Family-guy

Brian: What about the "writing angry letters and not sending them" exercise?
Peter: Aw geez, I wasn't supposed to send those?
Meg: Look, I got a letter from dad! Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I thought you were a housecat. Dad!
Stewie: Dear Stewie, get out. Oh, that's nice.
Lois: Mine just says Dear Lois, and after that it looks like someone just spit on the paper

Good evening, tonight's top story, Quahog is infested. With loud hairy creatures also known as New Yorkers

Diane

Yo! God is good ehn? And he expects us to be good. And if you're not, he's gonna come down, and bust your freakin skull! Amen

New Yorker Priest
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