Family Guy Season 3 Episode 3: "Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington" Quotes
You may have killed her when you shoved all those dollar bills down her throat, you may have killed her when you hit her with the stool... I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I'll tell you what didn't kill her.... smoking!Peter
Oh, yeah, yeah, that plane crash I told you about... it turned out to be gasPeter
Cigarettes killed my father, and raped my motherCongressman
Frank: Gentlemen, I propose we send a message to tobacco companies everywhere by finding the El Dorado cigarette company infinity billion dollars!
Congressman: That's the spirit Frank! But I think a real number might be more effective
Peter: Mr Weed? It's Peter Griffin. I can't come into work today. I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable... See you tomorrow!
Uh, Mr. Weed, I heard you ran into my identical twin brother at the ball game yesterday. And if you don't buy that, I'm sorry I was at the ball game yesterdayPeter
Executive: Trust me, Peter. The last thing we want is to get kids to start smoking.
Peter: What about that graph on the wall that says: "The first thing we want is to get kids to start smoking"?
Executive: That? That's just something my son made me in art class.
Peter: Then what about that post that says: "The graph was not made in art class. We really do want kids to start smoking"?
Executive: Look, we're a caring company
Lois: But Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter: Well, maybe it's because I can recite all fifty states in a quarter of a second. ARF!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise
Peter: Hey, since I became president, profits have been higher than Alyssa Milano.
Alyssa Milano [watching the episode from her couch]: What kind of cheap shot! Joe!
Joel: (motioning with his hand while seated at an office desk behind her) I'm suing, I'm suing. I'm on it, I'm on it
Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's NOT for son, and then you'll understand why I can never go back to Seaworld
Can't we eat yet? I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. I don't get it. Well, I guess I could ride him to the storeChris