Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Angela: I have nothing to live for.
Peter: Sure you do. Someday a white man's gonna to be elected President again.

Hi Angela. I'm Peter's friend, Glen Quagmire. Thanks for having me in your home and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire. Some friend, huh?

Quagmire

I don't want to have to take off my clothes because I'm self-conscious about my Congressman Barney Frank body.

I really hope there's a hungry horse back there.

Every Friday night, I'm a clearance-sale area rug.

Mayor West

Peter: Richard. Hey Richard. Can I get your uatograph?
Richard Dreyfus: Fine. You have a pen and paper?
Peter: What do I look like a Staples? I don't carry that stuff around.
Richard Dreyfus: Look I'm sorry I can't help you.
Peter: What you're too big and famous to go to the corner drug store and pick up a pen and paper and possibly some other groceries I need and come back and sign several things for me? You're a jerk.

Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?

Displaying all 7 quotes

Family Guy Season 8 Episode 14 Quotes

Peter: Richard. Hey Richard. Can I get your uatograph?
Richard Dreyfus: Fine. You have a pen and paper?
Peter: What do I look like a Staples? I don't carry that stuff around.
Richard Dreyfus: Look I'm sorry I can't help you.
Peter: What you're too big and famous to go to the corner drug store and pick up a pen and paper and possibly some other groceries I need and come back and sign several things for me? You're a jerk.

Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?