Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 11 Episode 2: "Ratings Guy" Quotes
Peter: Okay, Dick Wolf. Make the same Law and Order six times. Oh, and also, could you marry Matt Weiner? Because I want your name to be Dick Weiner.
Dick Wolf: Okay, but can I go by Dick Wolf Weiner?
Peter: Oh my god, yes.
Peter: JJ Abrams, you take wonder and complexity and present it in a way that no one can possibly understand.
JJ Abrams: I've got an alien that goes back in time and encounters a koala bear in an Eastern European town.
Peter: Totally confusing. Do it.
Peter: I'm the guy who ruined television, and I'm the guy who's gonna fix it!
Homer Simpson: Guys, I broke television! And now you have to help me fix it!
Peter: Haha, this looks like this is one we beat you to!
Thanks to you, TV's a vast wasteland. You know how I know that phrase? I read it in a book, you monster!
Quagmire
You put a real cougar on Cougar Town! And now that cougar's dead because Courtney Cox ripped it apart with her teeth and claws!
Quagmire
Wait till you see Breaking Bad; I don't know what it was, but now it's on rollerskates.
Peter
Listen, I don't need your suggestions, pal. I've been a big celebrity for a year-and-a-half now.
Jon Hamm
No matter how low I turn the volume, Aziz Ansari is always shouting at me. What did I do?
Stewie
Peter: Dear Cary Elwes, I have been meaning to contact you for some time. I have never been able to figure out if you are famous. You were a big deal in one thing, but you were wearing a mask for most it. Do you consider your career a disappointment, or rather, did you exceed your own expectations? Yours truly, Peter Griffin. P.S. You were in Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Did you know that?
That sounds awfully lonely, like being an NBA player on the road.
Lois
