Family Guy

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Girl [to Brian at bar]: I think you've had about enough.
Brian: Well, I... I think you're wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you're... you're really pretty.
Girl: Oh, stop!
Brian: No. I'm... I'm serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle...
[Lady walks away]
Brian: Call me! ... She won't call

Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. Yeah, apparently you can do that

Brian

Stewie: You remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Good. It's on tonight. Tape it for me, and put a nice label on it

Stewie: Go on, hot wire it!
Brian: Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas.

Open up or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument I use to hit dead-beats with bad credit cards. Well, it's not an instrument, it's more of an object, but it's blunt, hard and blunt, and well ... it's kinda like a bat. I found it out back one day when I was raking

Hotel manager

Brian [at mom's funeral]: Say something.
Stewie: What?
Brian: Just say something please.
Stewie: For god's sake. Um... "Yea, and God said on to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac'. And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, You'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, Check, Check. Jerry pull the high end out I'm, getting some hiss back here.'"
Brian: Say something about my mother!
Stewie: Oh yes, I'm sorry. I never knew Biscuit as a Dog, but I did know her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length...
Brian: Thanks. That's enough.
Stewie: Yes. Requiem in Terra Pax, and so forth. Amen

Chris: Okay, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. This time it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Ahh! Get out of my head! Get out of my head?

Brian: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Stewie: Ugh, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Why does everyone always come out to me?

Betty: Is that Brian? Oh, and you brought a little friend. Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella.
Stewie: Yes, I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. Now change me!

Displaying all 9 quotes

Family Guy Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

Brian: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Stewie: Ugh, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Why does everyone always come out to me?

Betty: Is that Brian? Oh, and you brought a little friend. Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella.
Stewie: Yes, I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. Now change me!