You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

Lois

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Stewie

Stewie: Hey Brian, show her your Boost mobil phone.
Brian: Stewie has AIDs.

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.

What!? Why's there an animated one of me and you doing it on there?

Peter

Oh yeah, every woman looks great in a sundress.

Brian

I know Meg, that's why I'm going to confuse you by calling it 'Erotica.'

Evan

Stewie: Boy in a truck to young to drive
Choir: Sing what you see!

My name's Evan by the way.

Evan

I'm gonna take a year off, hit the road, and live life to the fullest!

Stewie

Lois, please send these back to the factory, I believe they're defective.

Peter

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 9 Quotes

Lois, please send these back to the factory, I believe they're defective.

Peter

I've never even been in a picture before.

Meg