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Family-guy

Stewie: (to Jasper) Hey, "Mcbutt the Crime Dog", I heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night. Keep it down.
Jasper: Sorry, little guy, we were playing Clue and he got me in the bedroom with a lead pipe.

Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So this is awkward but I mean if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.

Stewie

Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint: it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.

Peter: Ah Jasper, where'd ya get these brownies?
Jasper: They're from a bakery in the West Quahog Gay District. I thought they'd help my depression.
Peter: Oh, I can see why, oh my god, they pack so much fudge into these. Look at this, there are even a couple of nuts lodged in there.

Alyssa: Because if you do, I'll let you touch my boobs.
Chris: I...is that good? Do I want that?
Alyssa: Oh yeah, you want that.
Chris: Well, fantastic then.

Chris: I think I made Brian crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have burned that petition.
Alyssa: Oh, no. Chris, you did the right thing. It's only a matter of time before Mayor West signs that bill, and you'll get to touch these. (Indicates her breasts)
Chris: Oh, boy. I gotta feeling that before the end of the day, I'm gonna be burying my dog.
Alyssa: Whoa, whoa. I said you could touch my boobs, let's start with that.

Mr. Pewterschmidt: (indicates his wife) Look at my wife! Do you think I love her?!
Lois Griffin: Wait a minute. Are you saying that two straight people who absolutely hate each other have more of a right to be married than gay people who love each other?!
Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Well, that's what we raised you to believe.

All I ever wanted was to marry a skinny, hairless fillipino boy and live happily ever after. Isn't that the American dream?

Jasper
Displaying all 8 quotes

Family Guy Season 4 Episode 25 Quotes

Mr. Pewterschmidt: (indicates his wife) Look at my wife! Do you think I love her?!
Lois Griffin: Wait a minute. Are you saying that two straight people who absolutely hate each other have more of a right to be married than gay people who love each other?!
Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Well, that's what we raised you to believe.

All I ever wanted was to marry a skinny, hairless fillipino boy and live happily ever after. Isn't that the American dream?

Jasper
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