Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Quotes
I don't suppose you have any valium on you? Of course not, you're leading the straight life now
Stewie [to his stuffed animal]
Brian: Well, well, looks like you're in love.
Stewie: Ha! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first "ha!"
Brian: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Stewie: Aha! Her eyes are green!
Brian: Aha! Thanks for proving my point.
Stewie: Damn!
All right, what's going on back here? Oh hello Megan. Wait a minute, your not part of the popular clique. You run along and play alone somewhere. Shame on you all, getting her hopes up like that
Teacher
A girl answered a math problem, you know what the means. A WITCH!
Teacher
I'll tell you Lois, High school is a lot more fun this time around. And it's a lot safer now that all the kids have guns
Peter
Sweet statuatory, you look beautiful
Peter
And you know what I got for Christmas? A pack of cigarettes. My dad grabbed me and said, " Smoke 'em up Tony, they're grrrreat!".....bastard
Tony The Tiger
Peter: ...and that's my plan, Principal. So, what do you think?
Principal: But... you didn't tell me anything? You just sat down & said "And that's my plan"
Peter: You don't remember what it's like to be my age!
Lois: I'm two years younger then you!
Girl [to Brian at bar]: I think you've had about enough.
Brian: Well, I... I think you're wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you're... you're really pretty.
Girl: Oh, stop!
Brian: No. I'm... I'm serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle...
[Lady walks away]
Brian: Call me! ... She won't call
Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. Yeah, apparently you can do that
Brian
Stewie: You remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Good. It's on tonight. Tape it for me, and put a nice label on it
