Family Guy Quotes
How do you think NBA players get all those chicks? They're all great cooks. Except Kobe Bryant. His secret is different.Quagmire
Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!Quagmire (referencing an awful Korean Taco)
Hey? You up? Guess where I have a crayon?Stewie (seductively to a little girl at nap time in school)
Stewie: Yes looks like someone's gone at him with a whip.
Brian: That is a perfectly valid way of saying that. Bravo master.
Stewie: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.
Neil: Is this a nut free counter?
Chris: Uh I don't know, my dad's might have been on there at some point.
Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shut your faaaaaace.Stewie
Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.
Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.
Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!Peter
He's my friend, I miss him.Peter
You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.Brian
Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.