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Family-guy

God, it's good to be old and nude.

Carter

I want Hershey kiss nipples, and I want you to pay for them!

Peter

Pewterschimdt, you imbecile! You think that's funny, wasting fruit? There are people dying in hilarious places!

Barrington

Lois: (while Peter plays harmonica music) I accidentally backed over a kid in the grocery store parking lot. Peter, I'm serious. I ran right over the soft part of the face. I had to run away. I ditched the car and snuck on a passing train. I was so scared, I didn't get off until I was in the south. What'd you do today?
Peter: I pushed a boy behind your car so I could do all this harmonica stuff.

Oh my god. It was in the tub, and now it's in my butt!

Peter

How does it feel to be the least-cultured person at a bus station?

Stewie

Well, looks like Archibald Meatpants is gonna have a fun night.

Stewie

Look, it's not like we've got a lot to live for. I'm just going to end up like Chris, only I'll be smart enough to realize how miserable I am.

Stewie

Apollo: I was booked for three hours by "Archibald Meatpants."
Brian: He's...he's dead.
Apollo: Well, either way, I'm getting paid and somebody's getting torn open.

The porn is free but we have to watch it in the lobby.

Stewie

It says here there's a continental breakfast. Oh...the continent is Africa.

Stewie

Thank God we're finally here. Kind of weird that they showed Flight 93 on Flight 93.

Brian
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 218 in total

Family Guy Season 11 Quotes

Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep!
Peter: I think I'm sick.
Lois: Well, you don't sound like yourself. In fact, you sound kinda hot!
Peter: I just threw up two chicken gyros out the side of my nose, they're on your side of the bed.
Lois: Ohhhh...say that again!

No matter how low I turn the volume, Aziz Ansari is always shouting at me. What did I do?

Stewie
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