Family Guy

Family Guy Season 2 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 2 Episode 14: "Let's Go to the Hop"

Teacher: All right, what's going on back here? Oh hello Megan. Wait a minute, your not part of the popular clique. You run along and play alone somewhere. Shame on you all, getting her hopes up like that
 • Rating: Unrated

Teacher: A girl answered a math problem, you know what the means. A WITCH!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Peter: I'll tell you Lois, High school is a lot more fun this time around. And it's a lot safer now that all the kids have guns
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Sweet statuatory, you look beautiful
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony The Tiger: And you know what I got for Christmas? A pack of cigarettes. My dad grabbed me and said, " Smoke 'em up Tony, they're grrrreat!".....bastard
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: ...and that's my plan, Principal. So, what do you think?
Principal: But... you didn't tell me anything? You just sat down & said "And that's my plan"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: You don't remember what it's like to be my age!
Lois: I'm two years younger then you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 13: "Road to Rhode Island"

Girl [to Brian at bar]: I think you've had about enough.
Brian: Well, I... I think you're wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you're... you're really pretty.
Girl: Oh, stop!
Brian: No. I'm... I'm serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle...
[Lady walks away]
Brian: Call me! ... She won't call
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. Yeah, apparently you can do that
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: You remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Good. It's on tonight. Tape it for me, and put a nice label on it
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Go on, hot wire it!
Brian: Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hotel manager: Open up or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument I use to hit dead-beats with bad credit cards. Well, it's not an instrument, it's more of an object, but it's blunt, hard and blunt, and well ... it's kinda like a bat. I found it out back one day when I was raking
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian [at mom's funeral]: Say something.
Stewie: What?
Brian: Just say something please.
Stewie: For god's sake. Um... "Yea, and God said on to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac'. And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, You'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, Check, Check. Jerry pull the high end out I'm, getting some hiss back here.'"
Brian: Say something about my mother!
Stewie: Oh yes, I'm sorry. I never knew Biscuit as a Dog, but I did know her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length...
Brian: Thanks. That's enough.
Stewie: Yes. Requiem in Terra Pax, and so forth. Amen
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Okay, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. This time it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Ahh! Get out of my head! Get out of my head?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Stewie: Ugh, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Why does everyone always come out to me?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Betty: Is that Brian? Oh, and you brought a little friend. Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella.
Stewie: Yes, I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. Now change me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 12: "Fiften Minutes of Shame"

Peter: Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes.
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!
 • Rating: Unrated

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