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Family-guy

Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all

Big Fat Paulie: Where are you going?
Peter: Uh, home. You know, for dinner.
Big Fat Paulie: Oh yeah, what are we having?
Peter: Uh, I was only supposed to go to a movie with you.
Big Fat Paulie: What's that supposed to mean?
Peter: Uh, you know, like, no neckin'
Big Fat Paulie: So I can have dinner with you?
Peter: Uh, uh, sure. That would be much better than having a quiet dinner with my family, who I love and am not afraid of

Lois: Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.. And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner...James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!

Lois: Do you mind?
Paulie: Acutally I do, you crazy broad.
Lois: I am not a crazy broad!
Peter: Oh, no no Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like.. Elizabeth Taylor... He meant you're crazy, like.. that glue... You stick to things, you know, like an adhesive... That's all he meant

Lois: Peter, do you even know which one of our children I'm talking about?
Peter: Gordon?

A job? Lois, the seventies are over, forget it

Peter

Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww....
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady

It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't trust whitie

Lois

Peter: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait a second! You're telling me, I flew all the way to Kentucky, to get some of your fried chicken, and--and the Colonel isn't even working today??
KFC Employee: He ain't here -- He dead.
Peter: What??
KFC Employee: I say he dead.
Peter: Is Mr. Sanders in?
KFC Employee: What wrong wit you? I say you he dead!
Peter: . . . . THE COL-ONEL!

I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty seven times. Have you seen the lips on that women?! It's like a baboon's ass on her face!

Lois

I don't suppose you have any valium on you? Of course not, you're leading the straight life now

Stewie [to his stuffed animal]

Brian: Well, well, looks like you're in love.
Stewie: Ha! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first "ha!"
Brian: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Stewie: Aha! Her eyes are green!
Brian: Aha! Thanks for proving my point.
Stewie: Damn!

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 183 in total

Family Guy Season 2 Quotes

Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France

Peter

You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?

Peter
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