Family Guy

Family Guy Season 2 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 2 Episode 4: "Brian in Love"

Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 2: "Holy Crap"

Peter: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Nooooooo! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Damn long ears, trying to steal Easter from Jesus
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Oh dear me, yes yes, this is how I wanted to enter the new millennium...locked in the basement with imbeciles dressed like a gay Neil Armstrong
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Let's go.
Lois: Go where? If there's no food in Quahog, what make you think there's going to be food anywhere else?
Peter: Lois, everyone knows that there are two things that can survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Twinkies, and there's a Twinkie factory in Natick.
Lois: Twinkies?
Peter: Yeah. I saw a story about them on A&E
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: There's no factory?
Stewie: Ha! Very good, fat man! We follow the Pied Piper of Hamsteak to the Gates of Oblivion, and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: We all love the bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible.
Peter: Umm... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: He just got up and left? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever comes back... I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Francis: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the un-baptized babies.
Peter: There you go, Lois, you love kids
 • Rating: Unrated

The Pope's Emcee: Hello Boston, are you ready to humblllleeee yourself before God? .... What, have you all taken a vow of silence? Come on!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie [watching baseball]: Why does the man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I didn't know there was a five a.m. mass. I didn't even know there was a five a.m. What else haven't you told me!?
 • Rating: Unrated

Pope: Are you sure this is Boston?
Peter: Oh, yeah. [Points to a barn] Look, there's Harvard.
Pope: That's just a barn.
Peter: Ooh, I see someone went to Yale
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 1: "Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater"

Ted Turner: I'd like to announce I've given the a gift the whole world can appreciate, I've colorized the moon
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Your Aunt Margarite is probably laughing at me right now while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: You gotta help me Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter, it's not really that hard. Let's start with polite conversation. For example, 'it's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having.' Now you try.
Peter: 'It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.' How's that?
Brian: Wow. Perfect. My work is done. But just for the heck of it, let's try it again
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do... You bastard
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: There is no way that I'm sleeping in Chris' room this weekend; it smells like old milk in there!
Chris: Hey, if I could find it, I'd clean it up!
 • Rating: Unrated

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