Family Guy

Family Guy Season 4 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 4 Episode 4: "Don't Make Me Over"

Lois [reveals the new Meg]: Peter, take a look at your daughter!
Peter: Oh my god, Lois, it was twenty years ago, I'd never even heard the word "rubber"
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Oh there there, let me dry those tears. [licks his fingers with Meg's tears on them] Oh, oh yes yes, your anguish sustains me
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Diddy: Let me explain something to you, aight. We gotta get her half naked and put her out front center stage and that's gonna make y'all billionaires because America loves hot, white, jailbait ass
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 3: "Blind Ambition"

Stewie: This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my Big Wheel.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, you're really are putting away those Mentos.
Peter: Oh, these aren't Mentos, Lois. Everybody, you are looking at a guy who is going to set a new world record. I am going to eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?
Peter: That freaking place was on fire?!
Tom: And there you have it. Coming up next, "Watch me shave."
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom Tucker: In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for "Most Drugs Ever Done by a Single Human Being" died today; he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter [To Horace]: Hey, ya ever watch that show Scrubs? Yeah Lois had it on the other night, I was fading in and out, but I was wondering, which one's the funny guy?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 2: "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High"

Lois: You see, our son Chris, well...
Peter: Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Mrs. Lockhart, our son....would like to plow you.
Mrs. Lockhart: Oh, I had a feeling it was something like that
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: Aiight, aiight, so I'm chillin with my homies in Verona, when my homie busts out with "Yo, Romeo, check out that biatch, Juliet, in the window." The problem is, Juliet's peeps are like East Coast rappers, and my posse's representin' West Siiiide, just like my boys Tupac and Biggie. Know what I'm sayin?
Student 1: That's racist man.
Student 2: Yeah man, that's just straight ig'nant dawg
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carlos: I'm Carlos, and beneath my tough exterior is a boy aching to learn! And beneath that is a rapist.
Samantha: My name is Samantha, and my water just broke!
Brian: Oh my God!
Tim: Yo, it's my turn to deliver!
Girl: Can I have this one? My mom keeps giving mine away
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Girl: O Captain my Captain!
Brian: Alright, be the best damn hooker you can be!
Girl #2: O Captain, my Captain!
Brian: In your case, I'd get the money up front
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Lois: Look, Stewie, a note. You know, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris' pocket, she's more respectful then that.
Stewie: Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Why is everybody acting weird?
Lois: Chris, honey, we know what you did. And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve.
Chris: What I did? Oh, that I lied about my age to get into Indian bingo?
Peter: Uh, no.
Chris: That I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but still no.
Stewie: How is that close?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Hi, everybody! What's for dinner? I'm starving!
Peter: My god, his bloodlust is unquenchable!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 1: "North by North Quahog"

Lois: Peter, there's a hooker on the bed!
Peter: Stay perfectly still, Lois, their sight is based on movement.
Hooker: Where'd ya go?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: I wanna watch George Lopez!
Chris: That show only perpetuates the stereotype that George Lopez is funny
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Honey, what do you say we christen these new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, You naughty girl.
Lois: Hahaha, That's me.
Peter: You dirty hustler...you filthy stinky prostitute.
Lois: Okay I get it.
Peter: You foul venereal disease carrying street walking whore.
Lois: That's enough
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Everybody, I got bad news - we've been cancelled.
Lois: Oh, no. Peter, how can they do that?
Peter: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like: Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pits, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal, Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg The Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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