Family Guy

Family Guy Season 4 Quotes (Page 2)

Episode 27: "Untitled Griffin Family History"

Black Diane: Coming up this half hour: Flies on your face. How many is too many?
Black Tom: But first: That orange thing in the sky, and what you can do to please it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caveman Peter: People buy wheel because of sexy wife. Tonight you and me party like it's 9!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: (after Joe and the cops take her away) Aaaaah! Dad! Help me!
Peter: Have fun at the dance, Meg! I hope she does. That kid really deserves it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nate Griffin: Hi, I'm Nate Griffin. I work against my will for your dad.
Lois Pewterschmidt: Oh, yeah? What do you do?
Nate Griffin: Well, let's just say I know my way around a hoe!
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 26: "Petergeist"

Stewie: Yeah, yeah, Oh they're doing a spin-off. He still plays Joey, but...um...it's not doing that well.
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: As you can see, my family is here and it's game night. We're playing ... sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, are you peeing in that skull?
Peter: No Lois! I'm getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom and doing it there...Pain in the ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Lois, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we would leave Meg.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who they're gonna call?
Diane: (Sighs) Ghostbusters, Tom?
Tom: No, Diane, their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Between you and me I hear Joe's got a little free time these days. I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months
Joe: Peter, you just whispered that to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Oh, Peter, I'm so proud of you. Once again you've brought our family to the edge of the abyss and at the very last minute you saved us all. I love you, honey.
Peter: And I've grown fond of you, Lois. Let's go home.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: So what was it like on the other side?
Stewie: It was alright. I met Jesus.
Brian: Oh, what's he like?
Stewie: Believe it or not, he's Chinese.
Brian: Oh, really.
Stewie: Yeah, and his last name is Hong, Jesus Hong. He said he doesn't know where everyone got Christ.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: You know, we wouldn't be messing around with ghosts if you hadn't desecrated an Indian's remains.
Peter: Probably not a good time to mention I'm using the skull as an athletic cup.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Stewie! Head for Meg's butt!
Stewie: Have you lost your mind?!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 25: "You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives"

Stewie: (to Jasper) Hey, "Mcbutt the Crime Dog", I heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night. Keep it down.
Jasper: Sorry, little guy, we were playing Clue and he got me in the bedroom with a lead pipe.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So this is awkward but I mean if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint: it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Ah Jasper, where'd ya get these brownies?
Jasper: They're from a bakery in the West Quahog Gay District. I thought they'd help my depression.
Peter: Oh, I can see why, oh my god, they pack so much fudge into these. Look at this, there are even a couple of nuts lodged in there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alyssa: Because if you do, I'll let you touch my boobs.
Chris: I...is that good? Do I want that?
Alyssa: Oh yeah, you want that.
Chris: Well, fantastic then.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I think I made Brian crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have burned that petition.
Alyssa: Oh, no. Chris, you did the right thing. It's only a matter of time before Mayor West signs that bill, and you'll get to touch these. (Indicates her breasts)
Chris: Oh, boy. I gotta feeling that before the end of the day, I'm gonna be burying my dog.
Alyssa: Whoa, whoa. I said you could touch my boobs, let's start with that.
 • Rating: Unrated

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