Family Guy

Family Guy Season 6 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 6 Episode 9: "Back to the Woods"

Tom Tucker: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, important traffic news that can't help you because you're some place where a TV is.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Verne: You're probably wonderin' why he's in Hell. Johnny liked little boys.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Listen, I need your help, go run into and give me a pair of scissors.
Stewie: No!
Brian: Why not?
Stewie: Because, you made me watch those two girls and a cup.
(Flashbacks to the incident)
Stewie: Okay, wait. What is this now?
Brian: Just watch.
Stewie: Why are we taping my reactions. (about the camera)
Brian: Just watch.
(Turns to the computer)
Stewie: Okay, they're lesbians clearly.
(Stewie reacts to the video, disgusted, as Brian starts to laugh)
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, someone's been using your credit card!
Peter: Lois, I hear what you're saying, but like my credit card, I have a very low rate of interest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: That kung pao chicken smells good. You smell that?
Brian: Right now, all I can smell is your ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

James Woods: You're in a lot of trouble, Griffin, you mother f***er!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 8: "McStroke"

Peter: If i'm gay then Freddy Mercury was gay.
Brian: Freddy Mercury? The lead singer of Queen? He was incredibly gay.
Peter: He was not, he had a mustache.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stewie: (after watching One Tree Hill) God these high school students are lame. I'm a freaking baby, and I'm cooler than they are.
Brian: What the hell do you know about high school?
Stewie: Are you kidding? These kids today are so easy to manipulate. If you plopped me in the middle of a high school, I could be the most popular kid there in a week.
Brian: Really, would you care to place a wager on that?
Stewie: Absolutely, what are the stakes?
Brian: Okay, if I win, and you can't do it, you have to put your nose in Meg's hat and take an eight second inhale.
Stewie: Okay, it's a bet.
Brian: Great.
Stewie: Kiss on it?
Brian: What?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Well Brian, you've lost your bet. I, or rather my alter-ego Zack Sawyer, am currently the most popular boy at James Woods High.
Brian: Well, Stewie, you got the best of me on this one, congratulations. I guess you'll be hanging up your wig now?
Stewie: Oh no Brian, I'm enjoying myself too much. Do you know I have a date with Connie D'amico this Saturday night at Anal Point?
Brian: Ah, I've heard about that place.
Stewie: Really? What's it like? Because I have no idea.
Brian: Well, uh... I suppose if you imagine it like a parking space that you think "gosh, there's no way I'm gonna be able to fit in there." But then you fold in the side view mirrors, and sure enough, well, look at that.
Stewie: Well, in that scenario, it sounds like I'd rather be the parking space than the car.
Brian: Yeah, that's what I always guessed.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

(Peter is seen walking into a stem-cell research facility, and later walking out all cured)
Peter: How long was I in there?
Guard: About five minutes.
Peter: Why are we not funding this!?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: (looking at Mustache Aficionado Magazine) Wow, look at these men. What class! What grace! And all because of a little upper lip hair. Lois, I am gonna grow a mustache. And I'll have it made like the Monopoly guy. Except when he goes directly to jail.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, have you seen Brian?
Peter: (with his back to her, his voice is muffled) No, Lois. I have not.
Lois: Well, I haven't seen him since this morning and I--what is that on your head?
(Peter turns to reveal Brian duct taped to his face)
Peter: It's a mustache, Lois! What, you've never seen a mustache before?!
Brian: (calmly)Lois, would you mind calling the police or something?
Peter: Quiet, mustache!
 • Rating: Unrated

(after the the judge rules in favor of McBurgertown industries)
Peter: What!? Hey c'mon, that's not fair!
Judge: Well Mr. Griffin, what did you expect? They have a hundred lawyers. And you tried to bribe me with a subsription to Grape Soda Today, which I already have!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Black mail call!
Lois: Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
Peter: Lois, black people aren't like you and I, and I find that hilarious!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 6 Episode 7: "Peter's Daughter"

Peter: Stay away from my daughter you possible rapist!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Peter: See, look Meg, he just walked out on you. He's a bad man, like Jodie Foster.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Chris: I can set you up with one of my friends. Oh wait, I don't have any friends. Well I can set you up with dad! Dad, will you be interested in dating Meg?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

(after they blow the house up)
Brian: Didn't we have an electrician in there today?
Stewie: He left. I'm pretty sure he left.
Brian: Isn't that his truck?
Stewie: Well, by God Brian, we're murderers. I guess this means you'll be going to doggy hell.
(Cuts to Hell. The Devil is scaring dogs with a vacuum cleaner)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Hey Chris, come here.
Chris: What, why?
Peter: Just come here.
Chris: What is it dad?
Peter: Does it feel like the water suddenly just got warmer?
Chris: No.
Peter: Oh, that's right, it's pee that makes it warmer.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Hartman: Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I'm afraid your coma's in a daughter. (laughs) I mean, I mean your daughter's in a coma. What? Oh my God, did you hear what I said? (waggles tounge) Brain freeze! Oh my god. Oh, that one is going in the Christmas letter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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