Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 8 Quotes
Oh Mr. Swanson is sleep crawling again.
Stewie
Why's she wearing make up like she's going out? Is this going out for them?
Stewie [about maid]
Jerome: There is I must fess to, when we were living together I had myself lots of nasty ass sex with Meg.
Peter: I don't care about that.
You're being silly, Jerome and I dated over twelve inches go.
Lois
Sorry I was out of it. I'm sorry are we being robbed?
Stewie
I got time for whatever I want, fool. My watch dont't tell time, I tell it.
Jerome
Peter: I know you're interested in being the fourth guy in our entourage, Kevin Connolly, but aren't you a little small?
Quagmire: I'll tell you what you can be in our group if I can have some of your cereal.
Kevin Connolly: Oh no, they're after me Kevin Connoly charms.
Joe: We shouldn't let this ruin our night, let's just enjoy the strippers.
Peter: I guess, I just hate how much that one gets into her work.
Stripper: You boys have been very naughty. I'm gonna have to assign you extra homework.
Peter: Fractions are so hard, what'd you get for number four?
Joe: She says don't share answers!
I'm not proud of this, but i'm gonna have to lick that up.
Brian [about puddle of clone]
Quagmire: How long you been in beauty school?
Candy: Two months.
Quagmire: Well tonight, we're doing facials!
Quagmire [reading note]: Glen, this is your child, next time wear a condom jerk. Oh my god!
Peter: Wait, hang on, there's no guarantee it's your baby.
Baby: Gigitty.
Quagmire: Ooh, I say that.
Stewie: It's healthier than what they ate in the fifties...
Customer: Steak and doughnut sandwich please.
Waiter: You want cigarettes on that sandwich?
Customer: What do I look like a Mary? Of course I want cigarettes.
