Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Can we at least put together a press release that says I resigned of my own accord to pursue other evil projects?

Stewie

Carter: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.
Chris: Oh yea? You and what lightning hands?

Hey Leia, you got a date to we-killed-thousands-of-people dance tonight?

Peter

Bonnie, stay with me! I promise, it will take three years with this accent before you figure out I'm just a regular jerk.

Frenchman 2

Bonnie: Well, it is tempting. Paris is such a perfect city.
Frenchman 2: Well, that is not entirely true. We have a lot of mime on mime violence.

I invited you on this trip to hang out while I have sex with strangers and this is how you repay me?

Bonnie

Frenchman: My intention is to void myself on you.
Bonnie: Ohh, I'd almost forgotten what it's like to be romanced.
Frenchman: My stool will sleep alone tonight.

Lois, I already told you, I'm in Paris to have an affair. I'll even do a Muslim if I have to.

Bonnie

Well, can we at least do some Muppet-style sight-seeing first?

Lois

Lois: Not a lot of people of color here but the ones that are black are really black.
Bonnie: I noticed that.

Quagmire: So, do you guys not do the anal probe thing anymore?
Alien: No, that's more of less been retired.
Quagmire: I see, I see...do you guys still have the thing?

Joe hates to fly because they always put him underneath with the dogs

Bonnie
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 149 in total

Family Guy Season 9 Quotes

I want a pet animal that's half chinchilla and half mink because I could call it "Chink" and that would be ok.

Peter

I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she weren't heavy....

Stewie