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Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.

Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

I always wanted a brother or a sister. Instead, I got a broster.

Peter

Does Jillian know you're half-Polish, Mr. Quagleczech?

Brian

Brian: So how did you two meet?
Jillian: Quagmire showed up at my door and said he was the federal boob inspector! And I was going to tell him to go away, but he had a warrant!
Quagmire: It was a snickers wrapper, Brian. I held up a Snickers wrapper.

You just think you know everything don't you? You're just like a black woman in hindsight.

Brian

Call me the "Paw." That's what I go by now.

Brian

Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.

Ooh! Mr. Sulu show! (singing) Mr. Sulu the star of the show...other guys just along for the ride...

Mr. Washee-Washee

Enough! You all banned from my store! Ding-dong!

Mr. Washee-Washee

Mr. Washee-Washee: I no have your shirt.
Peter: You yes have my shirt!
Peter: Fine, I go. But this no over! I take picture of Ang Lee
Mr . Washee-Washee: Good! He do too many white people movie anyway!
You no come back ever! I don't like you American. And all you American look alike!

(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 149 in total

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Family Guy Season 9 Quotes

Come by and apply for a Han job and I'll get you off and running! Other websites jerk you around and don't finish what they started but Han job will have you shooting for the stars!

Peter

You're not going to get away with this, Mr. Google Search!

Peter
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