Family Guy

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Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.

Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

I always wanted a brother or a sister. Instead, I got a broster.

Peter

Does Jillian know you're half-Polish, Mr. Quagleczech?

Brian

Brian: So how did you two meet?
Jillian: Quagmire showed up at my door and said he was the federal boob inspector! And I was going to tell him to go away, but he had a warrant!
Quagmire: It was a snickers wrapper, Brian. I held up a Snickers wrapper.

You just think you know everything don't you? You're just like a black woman in hindsight.

Brian

Call me the "Paw." That's what I go by now.

Brian

Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.

Ooh! Mr. Sulu show! (singing) Mr. Sulu the star of the show...other guys just along for the ride...

Mr. Washee-Washee

Enough! You all banned from my store! Ding-dong!

Mr. Washee-Washee

Mr. Washee-Washee: I no have your shirt.
Peter: You yes have my shirt!
Peter: Fine, I go. But this no over! I take picture of Ang Lee
Mr . Washee-Washee: Good! He do too many white people movie anyway!
You no come back ever! I don't like you American. And all you American look alike!

(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 149 in total

Family Guy Season 9 Quotes

You're not going to get away with this, Mr. Google Search!

Peter

I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she weren't heavy....

Stewie
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