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Family-guy

Bertram: You're about to be yesterday's hopscotch chalk on the sidewalk Stewie! (Pause) Erased!
Stewie: Yea, yea, I got the metaphor.

Bertram: Stewie!
Stewie: That's my name. Don't wear it out!
Leonardo da Vinci: Ahahahahaha!
Stewie: See, that's brand new to him.

Brian: So that means you're Italian.
Stewie: Of course! My love for spaghetti-o's and smoking on the toilet! It all makes sense!
Brian: Ew.

Stewie: Well, I'm off to the farmer's market. I've got to pick up some plutonium for a return pad, in case I decide to make another universe later.
Brian: Plutonium? At the farmer's market?
Stewie: Yep, I'm only using organic plutonium now. Think locally; buy organically.
Stewie: Hey slut, get me out of this.

Huh, that's weird. Black guys usually don't promote themselves.

Stewie

Good luck. I hope you like weird boobs.

Carter Pewterschmidt

Oh yea? Well nobody believed that we would make it but I drink and you use sex as a weapon. That seems to me like a successful New England marriage.

Peter

See? We're already making each other better people!

Mayor West; That was a great idea you had about walking parallel to the water. It makes for a longer walk. Carol

Carol: Helloo!
Mayor West: Well dot dot dot hello!

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