Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 9 Quotes
BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.
Lois [as Stewie aims a blaster at her]: Well, let me just say, it's
nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie: Yea, no you're fine...
Lois, I only ask this because of the dire situation I'm in. But can I hump your legs for 15 uninterrupted seconds?
Brian
Meg, you're so beautiful on the inside... but it's important that you know your limitations.
Brian
Let's go find a big, black, sassy, nurse. There's always one
Stewie
Well, stranger things have happened in medicine. I once tried to clone a chicken and it ended up being a man-sized chicken that was extremely hostile and escaped from the lab.
Dr. Hartman
It's kinda weird that 80's white clothes could pass for 90's white clothes...
Quagmire
Brian: Ah, it's a period joke!
Peter: Ah, it's a period period joke!
Peter: I'm making my own Red Bull! Lois can't stop me from experiencing the manic highs and lows my body demands.
Brian: Whoa, whoa you're adding kerosene? That's insane! That'll destroy your body, Peter!
Peter: Kerosene is fuel, Brian. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull...
Brian: That drink will kill you, Peter.
Peter: Whatever kills me will make me stronger.
Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?
Meg: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of you, like the ability to choose to be gay.
Chris: I don't think they choose that...
Meg: Oh trust me, they choose that.
I'll be with Allah soon...
Santa
