Jemaine: It's dark, Bret.
Bret: Yeah, I know.
Jemaine: What expression is on your face?
Bret: Umm. Guilty expression. What expression is on your face?
Jemaine: Sad because we don't have any electricity, but satisfied because I was right about the cup.
Bret: That's a weird expression

Bret: Jemaine, I don't think we're going to get sex and get paid.
Jemaine: Why not?
Bret: 'Cause we never get sex or get paid.

Murray: Bret, you should have a guitar.
Bret: I sold it to pay the bills.
Murray: You can't go on like that! Won't it sound weird with just the 'big guitar' that Jemaine plays?
Jemaine: Bass. It's called a bass guitar.
Murray: Well, I call it the 'Dad guitar' 'cause it's more like (deep voice) "Da da da da - I'm your Dad. Hey Murray, get into the shed and get the mower and do the lawns - de de de." You need Bret's 'Mum guitar' to add the beautiful tones (high voice) "Come on, darling, Murray's okay. Why you get home so late, Gordon?" (deep voice) "I was just havin' a few beers."
Bret: It'll sound fine.
Murray: It won't sound fine, Bret, you've got no guitar! (Bret plays his air guitar) I can hardly hear it! You'd have to be deaf to hear that.

Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Murray: Bret, you should have a guitar.
Bret: I sold it to pay the bills.
Murray: You can't go on like that! Won't it sound weird with just the 'big guitar' that Jemaine plays?
Jemaine: Bass. It's called a bass guitar.
Murray: Well, I call it the 'Dad guitar' 'cause it's more like (deep voice) "Da da da da - I'm your Dad. Hey Murray, get into the shed and get the mower and do the lawns - de de de." You need Bret's 'Mum guitar' to add the beautiful tones (high voice) "Come on, darling, Murray's okay. Why you get home so late, Gordon?" (deep voice) "I was just havin' a few beers."
Bret: It'll sound fine.
Murray: It won't sound fine, Bret, you've got no guitar! (Bret plays his air guitar) I can hardly hear it! You'd have to be deaf to hear that.

Bret: Jemaine, I don't think we're going to get sex and get paid.
Jemaine: Why not?
Bret: 'Cause we never get sex or get paid.