Flight of the Conchords Season 1 Quotes
Bret: Todd's not cool.
Murray: What do you mean? He's cooler than both of you put together. Look at him over there with all his friends. He's like the Pied Piper of cool. Pied Piper was cool wasn't he?
Bret: Pied Piper wasn't cool, he took all those kids into a cave.
Murray: No, I mean before that phase; when it was just the rats.
- Permalink: Todd's not cool. What do you mean? He's cooler than both of yo...
Bret: Okay, I'm just going to say, "Dear Todd, thank you very much, but you can't be in the band anymore."
Jemaine: Umm. I don't think you should do it, man. You're too easily offended.
Bret: I can't believe you just said that.
- Permalink: Okay, I'm just going to say, Dear Todd, thank you very much, but...
Bands shouldn't have girlfriends. You lose your female fan base. What about Wham? You never saw Wham with girlfriends. That's how they kept the women wanting them. No girlfriendsMurray
- Permalink: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends. You lose your female fan base....
I think you've gotta use honesty here. I mean, you know, it's always the best policy. Like the other day there was five, well, maybe there was like four really hot foreign chicks, either like Swedish or Korean, in my shop, and they were like "Dave, we wanna have a five way with you." I just told them, "honestly, okay." Then I gave it to 'em. Hard.Dave
- Permalink: I think you've gotta use honesty here. I mean, you know, it's al...
Jemaine: You don't even know anything about threesomes.
Bret: Have you ever had a threesome?
Bret: What do you mean, nearly?
Jemaine: I've had a twosome.
- Permalink: You don't even know anything about threesomes. Have you ever h...
Mel: What was your name again?
Rain: It's Rain.
Mel: Oh. That's nice. Kinda like... kinda like bad weather... I remember your name from the fan list, I check it regularly. Do you check it regularly?
Mel: Oh... You don't have a computer.
Rain: No, I have a computer.
Mel: Oh, you can't read...
- Permalink: What was your name again? It's Rain. Oh. That's nice. Kinda ...
Murray: I'm so angry, I feel like swearing.
Bret: Oh, Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.
Murray: Go fuck yourself Bret!
- Permalink: I'm so angry, I feel like swearing. Oh, Murray, you wouldn't s...
Murray: Okay, band meeting. Murray, present. Bret, present. Jermaine, present. Alright, I haven't got time for your time-wasting. I have good news, I have booked our biggest tour ever.
Bret: The Grand Canyon one?
Jermaine: Well, it wouldn't have to be that big to be our biggest tour ever
- Permalink: Okay, band meeting. Murray, present. Bret, present. Jermaine, pr...
Jemaine: Are you and Lisa gonna get married now?
Bret: I wish, but I don't know. She's got to go to war.
Bret: Yeah, Iraq.
Bret: Yes, she's in Delta Force. She's been deployed to Fallujah.
Jemaine: But she works in the croissant shop.
Bret: Yeah well, she's got two jobs. She's a pastry chef and a sniper
- Permalink: Are you and Lisa gonna get married now? I wish, but I don't kn...