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Franklin-and-bash

Rachel and your mom making out is one of the hottest things ever.

Jared

He's objecting to love?

Jared

Peter: You are so going to marry her.
Jared: I know.

Text haiku was ahead of its time.

Jared

Rachel: What kind of monster to you think I am?
Jared: Shape shifter.
Peter: Swamp demon.

Peter: Look at you doing the walk of shame here at the office.
Jared: Not walk of shame. Walk of glory.

You got a problem with hate sex?

Ellen

In this light with your guard down, you almost look human.

Jared

To make him more comfortable I took off my clothes but I was wearing a thong.

Coleen
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