The fact that I took our friendship and just crashed it into a pole kills me. It makes me want to do a swan dive into a woodchopper.

Jared

• Permalink: The fact that I took our friendship and just crashed it into a pole kills me. It makes me...
• Added: September 24, 2014

OK, do I have a sign that says I banged Peter's mom on my forehead? Let me rephrase that before you punch a hole through my face.

Jared

• Permalink: OK, do I have a sign that says I banged Peter's mom on my forehead? Let me rephrase that...
• Added: September 24, 2014

Peter: Were your parents ninjas?
Dan: They never said.

• Permalink: They never said.
• Added: September 24, 2014

Don't try to peel this onion, you'll only find a plum.

Infeld

• Permalink: Don't try to peel this onion, you'll only find a plum.
• Added: September 24, 2014

Franklin and Bash, wrangle your vermin.

Judge

• Permalink: Franklin and Bash, wrangle your vermin.
• Added: September 24, 2014

Jared: We were young. Mere chicken tenders.
Peter: But now we're the big cocks of the wok.

• Permalink: But now we're the big cocks of the wok.
• Added: September 24, 2014

You should come with evil theme music.

Jared

• Permalink: You should come with evil theme music.
• Added: September 24, 2014