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I literally killed my only chance at becoming a judge.


Jared: The one I like is when Infeld stole his prom date.
Damien: And I never saw it coming.

Denny, I hate to tell you this but someone just hit pause on your new life.


Jared: Any girlfriends in the picture?
Denny: We broke up. We met on line. She turned out to be a guy in Honduras.

Now you can challenge my parenting skills or you can finish the case you begged me for.


We specialize in nightmares.


Cellmate: You ever buy meth from Ricky?
Damien: No, I prefer to cook my own. I'm kind of a health nut.

We choose to accept your mission.

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