I give you three of vacation days a year, that's pretty easy. And I'm easy on the eyes! That's two easies.

Louis

Fun-fact, I'm good at everything I do.

Jessica

And I don't meet the age and height requirements for elf duty, which feels backward, but hey, rules are rules.

Evan

I mean look at this calligraphy. It could have come straight from the Vatican.

Jessica

Jessica: Don't worry Louis, money isn't everything.
Emery: Acting?
Jessica: Acting.

  • Permalink: Acting.
  • Added:

Honestly Mom, I'm surprised you're not more on board with acting. It's basically manipulation.

Emery

I have a photographic tongue. I remember every taste.

Eddie

The Wheel takes physical skill, Millionaire is just knowing lots of stuff.

Jessica

Hey Jessica, brought you some baby food. Thought you might be hungry, but not want to chew.

Louis

Why are you all dressed like European hobos?

Jessica

Honey: I lost a Ricola in my hair a week ago.
Louis: I saw it fall out yesterday.

At the end of the day children are like silverware. You don't have to clean them that well, just get the food off.

Honey

Fresh Off the Boat Quotes

Louis: Are you ready to do this?
Mitch:: Not really, I feel like I've told you numerous times, I don't want to do this but all you do is smile and nod.
Louis: [Smiles and nods]
Mitch: You're doing it.
Louis: [Smiles and nods[
Mitch: See, you're doing it

If you get lost, try to find a white family. You will be safe there until I can find you.

Jessica