Friends

Friends "The One Where Heckles Dies" Quotes

Chandler: Our trains are on the same track, okay? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same! Bitter Town! Aloneville! Hermit Junction!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Chandler: Maureen Rosilla.
Ross: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
Rachel: Okay, you win.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ross: You don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that, you know, like, I don't believe in it, you know, it's just ... I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed!
(Knocking on the door)
Chandler: Uh oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Quick Pheebs, jump on the ceiling!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chandler: Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Monica: Look at all this crap!
Chandler: Actually I believe this place sullies the good name of crap.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (Discussing the seashell lamp) Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish?
Rachel: Well, then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (To Chandler): You are not a freak. You're a guy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: And now I have to get a snake.
Phoebe: Ah huh...why is that?
Chandler: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. Y'know, a hook; like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be crazy man with a snake! Y'know, Crazy Snake Man! And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won't walk past my place they will run! "Run away from Crazy Snake Man!!" they'll shout!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ross: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Okay? I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, okay? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
Ross: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
Ross: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why.
 • Rating: Unrated

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