Friends

Friends "The One with the Baby on the Bus" Quotes

Caroline: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
Chandler: Well, we are great guys.
Caroline: You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: (About flipping the coin) All right ... ducks are heads, because ducks ... have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Terry: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's ... it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye, into my brain, and swirl it around!
Rachel: Okay ... so you're not a fan ...
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Is your tongue swelling up?
Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (On pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes, I do realize that would be a very stupid character.
(Hands phone to Joey)
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. (Hands the phone back to Chandler) He wants to talk to you again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I, I almost broke your hand.
Monica: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: (Mumbling due to swollen tongue) Thumrthel, thubrthel thbhrth!
Chandler: (To Joey) You understood that?
Joey: My uncle had a really big tongue.
Chandler: Is he the one with the really beautiful wife?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth, you know, like a squirt gun.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. (Awkward pause) Joey, she does not look fat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Chandler: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.
 • Rating: Unrated

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