Friends Season 1 Episode 6: "The One with the Butt" Quotes
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Monica: So you guys don't mind going out with someone who's going out with someone else?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock!
Ross: What?
Chandler: (Gesturing to explain what he means) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
All: (About Joey's play) Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: What'd you think?
(Pause)
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Rachel: (About Joey's play) God. I feel violated.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
(To Chandler) Look at it this way. You dumped her. Right? I mean this woman was unbelievably sexy and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable. Tell me why you did this again?
Ross
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Joey: Well, I'm showering.
Director: No, that was clenching.
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing. I think his butt would be angry here.
Ross: Come on. Seriously Joey, what's the part?
Joey: I'm his... (Mumbles)
Rachel: You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what?
Joey: I'm his butt double. Okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then I'm his butt.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Chandler: Thank god! You didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Come on, you guys. It wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the Trolls. At least you got to see my head.
Joey
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, right. And what would my opening line be? "Excuse me. Blah ra-rgh la-rgh."
Rachel: Oh, come on. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please. Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Joey: I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what? No one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: My mom will.
Chandler: There's something so sweet and ... disturbing about that.
