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Phoebe: You don't want to see a face that's covered with pox.
Ryan: Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care!
- Permalink: You don't want to see a face that's covered with pox. Your fac...
(to Phoebe) Ryan's been underwater. He's just going to be glad you don't have barnacles on your butt.Monica
- Permalink: Ryan's been underwater. He's just going to be glad you don't hav...
Phoebe: You have to stay back, 'cause, I have the pox.
Ryan: Chicken or small?
Phoebe: Chicken. Which is so ironic, considering that I'm a vegetarian.
- Permalink: You have to stay back, 'cause, I have the pox. Chicken or smal...
Monica: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Richard: Then I guess the panty raid last night was completely out of line.
- Permalink: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do ...
Monica: My boyfriend doesn't have a thing!
Richard: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
- Permalink: My boyfriend doesn't have a thing! See, if anyone overheard th...
Chandler: Hey, how's the first day going?
Joey: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
Chandler: Well there you go.
Joey: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Chandler: Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?
Joey: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
Chandler: Weird world. Your kids?
Joey: I figure my character has kids.
Chandler: You know, there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
Joey: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Chandler: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Joey: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... You know what? Just did.
Chandler: Wow, that's some pretty strong imaginary sperm you've got there.
- Permalink: Hey, how's the first day going? Pretty good. It's like you sai...
Chandler: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Chandler: Yeah. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. You know what? I just did!
Joey: What are you trying to do to me, man?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't me! It was my character, Chandy! The rogue processor who seduces his co-workers' wives for sport, then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler! In fact, I have her panties in my desk drawer right now!
Joey: (Looking hurt) Really?!
Chandler: No, freak show! She's fictional!
- Permalink: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife...