Friends Season 1 Episode 20: "The One with the Evil Orthodontist" Quotes
Rachel: (To Monica, quietly) We ended up having sex in his chair.
Monica: (Loudly) You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
Ross: You, you had what?
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
Chandler: She's on the other line, she's going to call me be back. She's on the other line, she's going to call me be back. (Dancing)
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
Chandler: That's why I'm dancing.
Chandler: I'm going to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Monica: Why not take it with you?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, and she needs to hear me pee?
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
Chandler: I can't call her. I left a message. I have some pride.
Monica: Do you?
Chandler: No!
Monica: (Looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
Phoebe: Oh, my God! Go away! (Waving her arms) Stop looking in here!
Monica: Great, now he's waving back.
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Monica: What kinda stuff...?
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.
Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendel's. And I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel.
Ross: That's nice... Now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers, and to generally leave you alone?
Rachel: Right, well, we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, ya know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Ross: That's, that's nice twice!
I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Chandler
Monica: (Looking out the window) Oh, my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe: How can people do that?
(Pause)
Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Monica: Brrrrrrrrring!
Chandler: (Answering the phone desperately) Hello?! Hello?! (Realizes it was Monica)... Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: (On the phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine. Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye bye. (Hangs up) Oh God!
Monica : That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Ross: What was with the dishes?
Chandler: Oh, uh, I want her to think I might be in a restaurant, ya know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Phoebe: If you want, you can call her machine and if she has a lot of beeps that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Chandler: You don't think that makes me seem a little...?
Ross: Desperate? Needy? Pathetic?
Chandler: You obviously saw my personal ad.
Ross: (Doing a crossword puzzle) Heating device.
Phoebe: Radiator.
Ross: Five letters.
Phoebe: Rditr.
I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
Monica
