Friends Season 3 Episode 3: "The One with the Jam" Quotes
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Ross & Rachel: No.
Chandler: Okay I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Ross: Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1, she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Chandler: That's easy, baggage claim.
Ross: (Buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
Chandler: Janice likes to cuddle at night, which you know I am all for. But, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something?
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there 'cause were're cuddily sleepers! Okay, I'm late for work. All right, are you guys gonna come down?
Ross: Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm right behind you. (Rachel leaves) Okay the sleeping thing: very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Chandler: but I thought you guys were cuddily sleepers.
Ross: No! No, not cuddily, not me, I'm like you I need the room.
Chandler: Okay, well Janice said "Hi, do I look fat today?" So I looked at her...
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her? You never look. You just answer, it's like a reflex. Do I look fat? No! Is she prettier than I am? No! Does size matter?
Ross: And it works both ways.
Monica: I've got a new plan now. Babies!
Chandler: Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.
Joey: Oh, Jam? I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.
(Phoebe catches Malcolm following Ursula) Oh, well, what do you know? There goes my identical twin sister! Just walking along, looking like me!Phoebe
Phoebe: (About Malcolm) You think he's still following her?
Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
I asked for the news, not the weather.Phoebe
Ah, this guy's an astronaut, that would have been so cool! (Monica looks at Joey) For like a day.Joey
Rachel: (About the sling on Joey's arm) Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Joey: No. I had a whole cover story, but Chandler here sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe, I didn't think the doctor would buy that it just fell out of the socket.