Friends Season 1 Episode 15: "The One with the Stoned Guy" Quotes
Monica: Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.
Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah, well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, ya know?
Monica: (About the appetizers) Hey, maybe this'll cheer you up.
Chandler: Oh, you know, um, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Chandler: Well, it is amouzing...
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.
Chandler: I just don't want to be one of those guys who sits in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Rachel: The WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.
Rachel: Oh, that WENUS.
Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
Rachel
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (He taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Phoebe: That's so great because you already know how to do that!
(After spilling a bag of Gummy Bears) Oh no! Bears overboard! They're, they're drowning! (Starts throwing Sugar O's cereal to the Gummy Bears) Hey fellas, grab onto a Sugar O, save yourselves!
Steve
(Talking to his former boss on the telephone) Yeah, I miss you too. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know?
Chandler
Celia: Say something... hot.
Ross: (Panicked) Er... um...
Celia: What?
Ross: Um... uh... vulva.
Ross: (On his plans for his date tonight) Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking metaphorically.
(Teaching Ross to talk dirty) If you can't talk dirty to me, how are you going to talk dirty to her? Now, tell me you want to caress my butt!
Joey
