Ross: Forget it, no one's staying.
Chandler: Okay, then I might as well offer to stay.

Rachel: Oh my god! Chandler, you're smoking again.
Chandler: Shut up, you're not my real mom!

Phoebe: I had a dream last night that Rachel and Ross were still together and we were all here hanging out.
Joey: I had the same dream.
Phoebe: Yeah, and no one slept with the Xerox girl.
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.

Joey: Can I see the comics?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: Sorry! May I have the comics.

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

You know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.

Chandler

Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with somone else?

</i>

No! I am not getting in a car with Ross! We will just have to ... live here!

Rachel

Carol: You slept with another woman?
Ross: You're ... you're one to talk!

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