(To Rachel) Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me. I can't have children!

Chandler

Joey: (To Bonnie) We're playing strip Happy Days game!
Bonnie: Cool! I'll catch up! (Takes off her sweater)

Monica: So what's Phoebe like?
Phoebe: I'm kind, caring, and sweet. What's Monica like?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.

Monica: You are the worst ultimate fighter ever!
Pete: You know, I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.

Chandler: I don't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy.

Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon? Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh, keep your name, don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him.
All: Oh.
Phoebe: Well then definitely don't take his name.

Monica: You're not gonna get going, are you?
Pete: Well, let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: Well, no. But...
Pete: Well, I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didn't know that already?

Have you ever wondered if there's a town in Missouri or something named Sample? And then as you're driving to the town there's like, a sign that says, "You're in Sample?"

Chandler

Rachel: (On the subject of congratulatory butt-slapping) I don't understand guys. I'd never congratulate Monica on a great stew by grabbing her boob.
Chandler: Yeah, for a really great stew you just stick your head in between them.
Monica: Can we please go eat?
Ross: Yeah, what are we getting?
Monica: Anything but stew.

Boss: And remember, there is no "I" in team.
Chandler: Yes, but there's two in "martini", so everybody back to my office!

(While watching Pete's fight on TV) Run! Run you crazy, rich freak.

Chandler

Ross: (About Joey's finger in his mouth) What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.

Friends Quotes

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!