Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: You know what, hey! You're the one who ended it! Remember?
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!

Rachel: (About Bonnie's baldness) See, she doesn't look that bad.
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!

Chandler: If worse comes to worse, I'll be your boyfriend.
Monica: (Laughing) Yeah right.

Chandler: I don't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy.

Boss: And remember, there is no "I" in team.
Chandler: Yes, but there's two in "martini", so everybody back to my office!

Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon? Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh, keep your name, don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him.
All: Oh.
Phoebe: Well then definitely don't take his name.

Rachel: (On the subject of congratulatory butt-slapping) I don't understand guys. I'd never congratulate Monica on a great stew by grabbing her boob.
Chandler: Yeah, for a really great stew you just stick your head in between them.
Monica: Can we please go eat?
Ross: Yeah, what are we getting?
Monica: Anything but stew.

Ross: (About Joey's finger in his mouth) What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.

Rachel: (About Bonnie) You said she was bald!
Phoebe: Yes, she was, she's not now.
Rachel: How could you not tell me she has hair?
Phoebe: I don't know, I hardly say that about people!

Phoebe: Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality.
Rachel: Why, does she have a bad personality?
Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnie's the best!

Monica: You're not gonna get going, are you?
Pete: Well, let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: Well, no. But...
Pete: Well, I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didn't know that already?

(While watching Pete's fight on TV) Run! Run you crazy, rich freak.

Chandler

Friends Quotes

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens...is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.