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(To Rachel) Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me. I can't have children!

Chandler

Rachel: Well, excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends. I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Phoebe: And this time they've ganged up to form one giant, super hat!

Ross: You still love me?
Rachel: No.
Ross: You still love me.
Rachel: Oh yeah, so, you love me!
Ross: No, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Rachel: No. Maybe. I don't know. Ross, I still can't forgive you for what you did, I can't, I just, but sometimes when I'm with you I just, I feel so...
Ross: What?!
Rachel: I just, I feel, I just...
Ross: What?
Rachel: I feel...

Rachel: (On the subject of congratulatory butt-slapping) I don't understand guys. I'd never congratulate Monica on a great stew by grabbing her boob.
Chandler: Yeah, for a really great stew you just stick your head in between them.
Monica: Can we please go eat?
Ross: Yeah, what are we getting?
Monica: Anything but stew.

Ross: (About Joey's finger in his mouth) What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.

Ross: All right, so Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. You know, just, don't turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or, you could teach him a lesson, you know? What you could do is you could rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right? Then, when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell. Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Chandler: What if Joey was president?

Phoebe: Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality.
Rachel: Why, does she have a bad personality?
Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnie's the best!

Have you ever wondered if there's a town in Missouri or something named Sample? And then as you're driving to the town there's like, a sign that says, "You're in Sample?"

Chandler

(While watching Pete's fight on TV) Run! Run you crazy, rich freak.

Chandler

Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon? Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh, keep your name, don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him.
All: Oh.
Phoebe: Well then definitely don't take his name.

Monica: You're not gonna get going, are you?
Pete: Well, let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: Well, no. But...
Pete: Well, I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didn't know that already?

Monica: You are the worst ultimate fighter ever!
Pete: You know, I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!

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