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I thought a gynecologist would have no trouble dating women.

Rachel

Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you!
Susan: (Beaming) Thanks.
Rachel: Oh God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these!
Chandler: I know. I still am one of these.

Carol: What does he look like?
Ross: (Studying him) Kind of like my Uncle Ed covered in Jello.

(About her contractions) I love them! Each one's like a little party in my uterus!

Carol

Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)

Phoebe: (About Ross and Susan arguing) There are babies coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should hear!
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I do not like my voice like this!

Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars!
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.

Phoebe: (Singing) And they found their bodies the very next day.
They found their bodies the very next day.
Ross & Susan: (Banging on the door) Help! Help!

I will always have gum.

Monica

Monica: Is there something fundamentally unmarryable about me?
Chandler: (Scrambling) Uh...
Monica: Well?
Chandler: (Pulling an imaginary ripcord) Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!

Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day. There's Father's Day. There's no Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.

Susan: Phoebe, what do you see?
Phoebe: Well Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 469 in total

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.