Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.

Monica: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present?
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Oh, from who?
Rachel: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me.

Chandler: (About Ross) He's in China!
Joey: The country.
Monica: No, no, wait. (Checking Ross's itinerary) His flight doesn't leave for another forty five more minutes.
Chandler: What about the time difference?
Monica: From here to the airport?

Phoebe: (About Rachel finding out that Ross loves her) This is really, really huge.
Chandler: No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
Chandler: Okay, is there a mute button on this woman?

Joey: Man, oh, man. It was like a ticker-tape parade.
Chandler: I know. As it happens, my room is extremely close to the parade route.

(To Rachel) Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?

Monica

Phoebe: (About Ross and Susan arguing) There are babies coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should hear!
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I do not like my voice like this!

I will always have gum.

Monica

Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)

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