Friends Season 1 Quotes
Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars!
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
Susan: Phoebe, what do you see?
Phoebe: Well Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Phoebe: (Singing) They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.
But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why.
You cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you ...
(Ross gives her some money) Oh, thank you Ross.
Ross: Yeah, I'm paying you to stop.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you!
Susan: (Beaming) Thanks.
Rachel: Oh God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these!
Chandler: I know. I still am one of these.
Ethan: Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff, there is something you should know.
Monica: Okay, is this like, "I have an early class tomorrow," or, "I'm secretly married to a goat?"
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"
Ross: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream!
Chandler: I-I'm sorry... it was a one time thing, I was very drunk and it was someone else's subconscious...
Ross: (About his new beeper) No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Ross: Monica, let's go! Come on people! Woman in labor!
Chandler: (Doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I got going.
Ross: Save it for the cab. What are you going? We're going to a hospital!
Rachel: (Putting on makeup) What? So I can't look nice? There are doctors there.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge!
Joey: All right, all right!
Ross: What is that?
Joey: For the ride.
Chandler: Like a cab--
Ross: Save it!
Chandler: Okay, hating this!
Ross:Monica, come one, now! Let's go! Baby coming!
Monica: I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt! I'll have a nephew.
Ross: That's nice. Get out!
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs reduced. Its a whole big boob story.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Chandler: Well, you know Pheebs, I dont know if its your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal... for a large portion of the day.
Monica: Oh, I can't pass for twenty two?
Phoebe: Well, maybe twenty five, twenty six.
Monica: I am twenty six!
Phoebe: There you go.
