Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 1 Episode 21: "The One with the Fake Monica"

Monica: This is so unfair. She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Monica: I don't know what I'm going to do without you! Who's going to crash with me the embassy parties? Who is going take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty five women, and you're worried who is going to take you to the Big Apple Circus?!
Monica: Not worried, just wondering.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joey: How can you get a monkey into a zoo?
Chandler: I know that one! No, wait. That's Popes into a Volkswagen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (About Marcel) How can he be an adult already?
Ross: I know. One day he's this little thing. Then he's this little thing that I can't get off my leg.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said you only had to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Still, it's just such reckless spending.
Ross: I think when somebody steals your credit card they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: (About Marcel's humping) You'd think you guys would be just a little more understanding, you know?
Phoebe: I know. But we're not.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things.
Monica: Oh, really? Okay. Let's compare, shall we?
Rachel: Oh, it's so late for "shall we."
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Rachel: (Yawning) No...
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: How about Joey Paponi?
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Chandler: Joey Switzerland?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: We found her. We found the girl.
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
Chandler: Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
Monica: You know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (Reading the credit card bill) Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
Monica: That's me.
Chandler: You see, when I say geek, I mean... Oh, the hell with it. You bought a $70 mop, you're a geek.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Oh, yuck! Ross, he's doing it again!
Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping!
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Rachel: You're not an artist.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: What do you think?
Phoebe: Lots of things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
(Rachel taps into view. She is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Rachel: What? You just click when they click.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, ya know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, ya know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
Phoebe: Flame Boy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Casting Director: Name?
Joey: Holden McGroin.
 • Rating: Unrated

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