Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 1 Episode 17: "The One with Two Parts (2)"

Ross: The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found a 'M' and an 'O'.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY'.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: I'm sorry that I said you were a cow in high school.
Monica: That's okay, I was a cow.
Rachel: I know. I'm just sorry I said it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Hi. Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms.
Admissions Woman: Why?
Monica: I am really an idiot. You see, I was filling out my friend's forms, and instead of putting her information, I put mine.
Admissions Woman: You are an idiot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight.
Joey: Oh, man. What are the odds of that happening?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: (Entering her surprise party) Oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh, my God! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, hi! You found Betty! Oh, my God! This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room. Where's Joey?
Chandler: Did you see Betty?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ursula: Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: No. No food with a face.
Ursula: You have not changed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (On the phone pretending to be Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Rachel: (To their confused dates) Would you excuse me for a second? (Rushing to the kitchen to stop Monica)
Monica: (As Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed!
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!!
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 16: "The One with Two Parts (1)"

Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh fun. Okay. Liam Neeson.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Morley Safer.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Susan: Why do I have to be the mommy?
Ross: OK. I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: Pheebs, you think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna do that?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, it's true, we were one egg, once, but er, you know, we've grown apart, so, um... I don't know, why not? Okay!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Joey: Yeah...
Chandler: Let's not do that anymore.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: (To Ross about labor) Oh, what do you know?! No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: Hey, have you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
Chandler: Only if you order stuff...
Joey: I'm taking Ursula there, it's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight!
Joey: Oh, man... what are the odds of that happening?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry, I've got to go. I've got Lamaze class.
Chandler: (Mocking) Oh, and I've got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Hey, where you been?
Joey: I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
Chandler: Score.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Douglas: We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the 70's.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: I always knew I was having a baby. I just never realized the baby was having me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: This is unbelievable. It's been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.
 • Rating: Unrated

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