Monica: What do you think?
Phoebe: Lots of things.

Monica: I don't know what I'm going to do without you! Who's going to crash with me the embassy parties? Who is going take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty five women, and you're worried who is going to take you to the Big Apple Circus?!
Monica: Not worried, just wondering.

Rachel: Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things.
Monica: Oh, really? Okay. Let's compare, shall we?
Rachel: Oh, it's so late for "shall we."
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Rachel: (Yawning) No...

Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf-blower picked up...

Ross: (Doing a crossword puzzle) Heating device.
Phoebe: Radiator.
Ross: Five letters.
Phoebe: Rditr.

Chandler: (On the phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine. Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye bye. (Hangs up) Oh God!
Monica : That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Ross: What was with the dishes?
Chandler: Oh, uh, I want her to think I might be in a restaurant, ya know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.

I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.

Monica

Phoebe: If you want, you can call her machine and if she has a lot of beeps that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Chandler: You don't think that makes me seem a little...?
Ross: Desperate? Needy? Pathetic?
Chandler: You obviously saw my personal ad.

Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendel's. And I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel.
Ross: That's nice... Now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers, and to generally leave you alone?
Rachel: Right, well, we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, ya know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Ross: That's, that's nice twice!

I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...

Chandler

Monica: (Looking out the window) Oh, my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe: How can people do that?
(Pause)
Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!

Monica: (Looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
Phoebe: Oh, my God! Go away! (Waving her arms) Stop looking in here!
Monica: Great, now he's waving back.
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Monica: What kinda stuff...?
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?

Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?