Monica: Damn it, Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom!
Ross: Calm down, I'm blow drying.
Monica: Blow drying what? You have no hair.

(About Baywatch) Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.

Chandler

Chandler: Well you know, we got to talking and, uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh, now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.

Chandler: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Which sister?

Ross: You got a tattoo?
Rachel: Yeah, but just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world!

Phoebe: I'm getting a tattoo.
Ross: A tattoo? Why would you wanna do that?
Rachel: Don't you think that would be kinda cool?
Ross: No, sorry I don't. Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right, Pheebs, and it's like I own a bad haircut all the time? (Awkward silence) Why is everyone staring at me?

Joey: Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last forty years.

Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.

Richard: Maybe we should just tell them.
Monica: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.
Richard: My parents are dead.
Monica: God, you are so lucky.

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