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Monica: My boyfriend doesn't have a thing!
Richard: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.

Phoebe: You have to stay back, 'cause, I have the pox.
Ryan: Chicken or small?
Phoebe: Chicken. Which is so ironic, considering that I'm a vegetarian.

(to Phoebe) Ryan's been underwater. He's just going to be glad you don't have barnacles on your butt.

Monica

Phoebe: You don't want to see a face that's covered with pox.
Ryan: Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care!

Monica: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Richard: Then I guess the panty raid last night was completely out of line.

Chandler: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Joey: Karen?
Chandler: Yeah. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. You know what? I just did!
Joey: What are you trying to do to me, man?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't me! It was my character, Chandy! The rogue processor who seduces his co-workers' wives for sport, then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler! In fact, I have her panties in my desk drawer right now!
Joey: (Looking hurt) Really?!
Chandler: No, freak show! She's fictional!

Monica: Joey, they're not real! I start miles beneath the surface of these things, okay? They're fake. See (Monica squeezes her breast) Honk honk.
Chandler: Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns.

Rachel: It's just that.. I was in there, listening to them bitch about each other, and it reminded me of the Fourth Of July.
Chandler: Because.. it reminded you of how our forefathers used to bitch at each other?

Ross: Hi Dr. Green. So how is everything in the, uh, vascular surgery... game?
Dr. Green: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Ross: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

Joey: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Why not her?
Joey: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Chandler: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.

Joey: Mr. Green, why don't we go in the bedroom and put your coat on the bed?
Dr. Green: Uh, sure. That sounds like a two person job.

Rachel: Can you keep my dad occupied? I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.
Ross: Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
Rachel: Just stay clear of, "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter!" and you should be okay.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 431 in total

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!

Chandler

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!