Monica: (About Phoebe) I hope she's okay.
Joey: Yeah, I know exactly what she's going through.
Monica: How do you know exactly what she's going through.
Joey: She told us.

Chandler: You know, I remember my father... all dressed up in the red suit, with the big black boots and the leather belt. Sneaking around downstairs, he didn't want anybody to see him, but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Rachel: That doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas?

Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.

Monica: Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Ross: Hey, here's a theme. "Come on in, live like bacon."

Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!

Chandler

Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.

(About a shirt Ross got their Mom for Christmas) Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.

Monica

Hello Grandma, if that is in fact your real name.

Phoebe

Joey: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Chandler: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab... hop in.

Joey: (While giving out Christmas presents to the group) ...and for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And a lemon-lime!
Ross: Well, this is too much. I feel like I should get you another sweater.

Rachel: Did you just break the radiator?
Ross: No, I was just turning the knob and, uh, here it is.

Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
Joey: You gave him cookies?
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares... Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.

Friends Season 2 Quotes

(To Phoebe, about Rachel talking to another guy) Would you look at that guy? I mean how long has he been talking to her? It's like, back off buddy, she's a waitress not a geisha.

Ross

Joey: (Excited) Oh, my God. I got my very own stalker.
Chandler: You are so lucky. I have to share mine with a bunch of guys down at work.
Rachel: Joey remember when we talked about good thing/bad thing? This is a bad thing.